I’m up early on this quiet Sunday morning, sitting on the screened-in porch, mesmerized by the dancing of the rain, the fluttering of the leaves, and the chatttering of the birds. What a perfect day to reread Shantaram, binge watch “Sneaky Pete” or work on a dusty blog.
I peruse some old titles from my half-baked writings: Smok’in in the Girls Room, Gwyneth Paltrow, Shanghai Pajamas, The Importance of Being a Catchy Title, Oddness of Life, The Weight of Time, Power of Prayer, Eclectic vs. Archaic, Where Are You Candy Man, Janus, and Potato/Potato-Tomato/Tomato to just list a few of the 101 blogs I have begun over the years since I started this endeavor. I think it’s safe to say I have a focus issue or a stick to the project at hand issue. Maybe those are very similar issues!
I was at my parent’s farm in Kansas recently. Tucked away in the old milk barn, almost hidden by boxes of Mason jars were a couple of old dining room chairs I had rescued from some dump. They were nicely sanded, just waiting for the next step towards completion. Had I wanted to simply sand and stain them 20 years ago when I was visiting for Christmas? Was I hoping to decoupage them a la "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" motif? Who knows? What I do know, is there they sit, assisting my mother’s Mason jars as a shelf until next canning season.
When I’m home on the farm, I also peruse not-often used rooms and drawers. I only open two or three drawers a visit because I quickly find some "treasure" that distracts me from the original intent of snooping, discarding, or simply wiling away the time. Last time I visited, I was on a mission. I wanted to find Simplicity, Butterick and McCalls sewing patterns—not of mine growing up, but of my mother’s. I love the summer seersucker and cotton eyelet dresses from the 1950’s and I recall seeing her patterns as a child. Instead, I found swatches of fabric from outfits my sister and I sewed for our 4-H projects in the 1970's. I fondly ran my hand over a piece of bright, cotton red fabric with those omnipresent yellow smiley faces. Ouch! A pin stuck me. I pulled out the fabric and spread it open. Attached with pins, was a paper pattern. I had made a one-piece jumpsuit from the fabric and had enough left over to make a pair of culottes. As I discovered, the shorts were never finished, or even started, for that matter. As I gazed at the material, maybe it was for the best. Maybe its even for the best that some of my blogs stay hidden in a virtual drawer for all time, as well. I think one of those is “Gwyneth Paltrow.”
The "Gwyneth Paltrow" blog, not oddly enough, was about Gwyneth Paltrow. Sometimes, my titles aren't so catchy! I started it about eleven years ago. I jumped on the "Hate Gwyneth Paltrow Bandwagon" before most, but I never followed through with it. I knew once she started GOOP (her lifestyle website), her real haters came out to bash her and I didn't want to be in that group. Is it fair to hate her just because she is a quintessential beauty and making millions of dollars?? For those unfamiliar with Gwyneth's lifestyle website, it's rather new agey, mixed with things we don't want to hear, like the truth. Find a physical activity you love and do it fives times a week. Avoid white flour and sugar. But if we avoid sugar, what about yet another unfinished blog, "Where Are You Candy Man?"
"Where Are You Candy Man?" was about the lyrics to the 1970's hit sung by Sammy Davis, Jr. Of course, as a child, I loved that song. Rainbows, chocolates, sprinkles! No mention of dentists or ruining one's appetite! Sing along with me!
Who can take a sunrise(who can take a sunrise)
Sprinkle it with dew(sprinkle it with dew)
Cover it with choc'late and a miracle or two
The Candy Man(the Candy Man)
Oh, the Candy Man can
The Candy Man can
"Cause he mixes it with love
And makes the world taste good
Who can take rainbow(who can take a rainbow)
Wrap it in a sigh(wrap it in a sigh)
Soak it in the sun and make a groovy lemon pie
The Candy Man(the Candy Man)
The Candy Man can
The Candy Man can
'Cause he mixes it with love
And makes the world taste good
Who can take tomorrow(who can take tomorrow)
Dip in a dream(dip it in a dream)
Separate the sorrow and collect up all the cream.......
Seems like the Candy Man can do everything!
Am I right?
Everything!
OK--I have a crazy idea.
Candy Man for President!!!!
Gwyneth Paltrow as FLOTUS!!!
