You know how people ask those irritating, silly questions on Facebook: Do you know what this object is. The object is a rusty wire whisk on a red, chipped wooden handle. Well, I’m going to ask one of these type of questions in this blog. Who of us are glue eaters? Elmer’s, not airplane. I admit, I am. Well, I was. I haven’t put a dab of that thick, pasty, white stuff on my tongue for a few years now. Who’d have thought that horse’s hooves would have such distinct, yet subtle, flavor? I assume everyone knows glue is made out of the hooves from horses, right? I could google to confirm, but I won't. You see, if I’m wrong, I’ve been misled for 50 years and don’t really want to carry around that disappointment.
Elmer's and airplane glue were the only game in town when I was a kid. We, as a collective, knew not to eat the airplane stuff. That was strictly for sniffing. I did so love when my brother got a model car to put together. (Those were for boys only, you see.) That clear, sticky glue was such a mess, but boy! That smell! I don't think I sniffed a lot of it. We all knew it wasn't healthy. But now that I reflect on my bad memory, I wonder if I didn't sniff a couple times too many.
I've never heard of any side effects from eating Elmer's though. I could look that up: Pros and cons of eating glue, circa 1970’s. Frankly, I don't care. The damage or benefits have been done. Although, I'm not above putting a dab between my cheek and gum now, but I usually don't have the white stuff laying around anymore.
That being said, I started an art project and needed a bottle of good ole Elmer's! I went to the stationary/toy store in my neighborhood to pick some up. What an array! I forgot about the glitter glue my kids had in grade school. And there’s clear Elmer’s too. I needed to control the flow of glue for my cut and paste project (not computer cut and paste), good old-fashioned scissors and glue. I gravitated toward the glue stick shelf. Good thing I did. There must be a supply chain issue, because they didn't have the pasty, white thick Elmer’s that I'm salivating for. I saw a purple glue stick. So, with options limited, I didn't have to stand in the aisle debating merits between stick and liquid. Stick it is!
I can't help but wonder why it's purple. Does the color give it extra adhesive quality? Was it designed so kids would get caught by the teacher more easily if they get hungry (or curious) and snack away? It's actually a tasty-looking color, like blueberries or purple kool-aid. If a kid takes a chunk out of it, it is clearly not their fault. I correct myself. If a person takes a chunk, it is clearly not her fault. Remember those weird red tablets we used to chew as kids to identify how poorly we brushed our teeth? I always looked like a vampire after I chewed one of those things. Do you think if someone ate this purple glue, would her mouth be a purple, pulpy mess? The way things are nowadays, the glue is probably edible AND nutritious! Who knows? Maybe airplane glue is less toxic. But is it still enjoyable?
I've overstepped middle-age (if you know what I mean), so I suspect gluing together a few model cars a month or dabbing a dollop of Elmers on my tongue won't affect me much anymore.
Hey! How would you feel about a Martini and Model Car Party some Friday night? Elmer's will be the chaser!
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